Who's Kidding Who?

This week's TV Ad's seem to point toward a new idea amongst some businesses.

The idea is 'kick 'em while they're down' (by 'down' I mean - in a recession).  What you do is: you keep telling everyone something is a bargain, regardless of the truth, and magically - it becomes a bargain!  Latest gems on the small screen - DOMINO'S - any Pizza for £9.99, and SUBWAY - a big filled roll and drink for £3.00.

Astonishing isn't it?  How can ANY Pizza actually be WORTH ten pounds?   Or a filled roll worth three pounds?  (forget the drink bit, it's in a cup from a giant barrel - about 3 pence worth).

Watch out for this sort of marketing - it's on the increase.

Flirt!

German Lemonade brand

Cher & Aguilera - BURLESQUE

I sat through 2/3rds of "Burlesque" the other evening (Cher and Christina Aguilera).

To be fair, the first half was quite watchable - this is the bit where down-trodden Aggy hasn't actually sang or danced yet, and finds ways to stay in the club and be part of her dream.  Up to this point the songs ARE Burlesquish (Burlesquette?) and the dancing watchable, shades of Minnelli, tints of Cabaret . . . . OK, I can close my eyes from time to time as the Turkey GLUBS its way down through my system can't I?

The story takes its inevitable course, love-interest hunk, gay-yet-hilarious-and-oh-so-down-to-earth/wise man, businesses threatening to close the lot down la la la, femme fatale (Cher).

Cher herself wanders through the entire movie in soft focus, eyebrows seriously threatening to pierce her brain with every non-expression attempted, she's allowed a song to herself - and this is the ideal place in the movie to pop out and get the kettle on.

An hour in and Aggy gets the top job, singing and er . . . well, wiggling about with spot lights on her.  All dancing stopped.  No, no, I really mean it - she honestly cannot dance.  It's SO awkward, it's all a bit silly, and the more sexy she tries to get - the less she becomes.

Songs (and she can really bash 'em out can't she?) move steadily away from the Burlesque to - well, to everything else.
To everything you ever hear on EVERY Saturday and EVERY Sunday TV, to any female 'star' currently belting out the stuff, over-long holds on notes, over-twiddly unnecessary 'irish' twists to a note.  Soul jarringly plastic, disposable; death dressed as life, bright lights in exchange for bright ideas.

A jarring sea-change to the movie occurs, as obvious as, oh .... turning it off?  Insensitive to any story or theme; as Aggy saves the club, dances more and more open-legged (a la black R & B / semi- rap artist) and sings more and more X-factor fodder - even the girls here at Weevie Towers started to get bored.

Watch it for an hour, switch it off, play Monopoly.

Sunday Trading - time to rethink

Take - 1
Ah! Merry England, that rural idyl, that utopean dream sequence - village church bells toll, as rosy cheeked little scamps frolick in the fields, butterflies flit amid the late afternoon rays, blonde mum and tall razor-jawed dad gaze peacefully into each other's picnic blanket as a rabbit plays peek-a-boo with a red squirrel from behind the oak providing its canopy for that very same picnic.  Peace, family life, trees, simple food, laughter, love and endless happiness on a bed of lettuce dripping with Heinz salad cream.

Take - 2
People-mover stuck on an inner city A-road, DVD players running for the two in the back seats.  They've been promised new stuff.  Dad can't see to the right, so he can't edge out - he can't see because the Range Rover next door is too tall, and its windows are smoked glass.  Inside this status symbol, Jackie - 5 foot 3 inches, straight blonde hair, serious tailoring and a NEXT bag on the passenger seat, glances into the mirror, firstly to check sunglasses, secondly to check on her brood.  DVD players are running.  They've been promised new stuff.  She can't move because she's a nervous driver; he can't move because he simply cannot see.  Behind them, three-quarters of a mile of traffic has built up.

So, this is Sunday - and maybe it's time for a re-think.

Unbelievable eh?  Preposterous!  What utter madness is this? - Verging on treason, no doubt.  We're looking for growth, we're searching for jobs we're worried to hell about everything and anything, and yet I tell you - the time has come for this country to rethink Sunday trading. 

In fact NOW is the best time to
revert to a more sensible policy.

We got where we are today through the legal wrangling of large retailers, Sunday trading was never fixed here in the UK because the public asked for it.

Largely, as a country we are alone in this practice - and it is responsible for the reduction in time families spend together (or if together - then still subjected to marketing), it is responsible for weekend working to insidiously become 'the norm' and for a lot of managers to now expect their staff to be quite happy about it.  'Flexible working' turned on its head - now it increasingly means 'every other weekend', believe me - this is SERIOUSLY bad news.

Don't forget this can only get worse as time goes on - as managers filter through who don't actually understand, or have never experienced, or actually DON'T WANT a true weekend, the feel of a quiet Sunday.

Sunday trading is responsible for bloated traffic on main roads - with its attendant noise and pollution, it is the least calm thing for anyone to do with their time, and yet we wonder why the quality of life in this country is so, so far below that of most our neighbours.

Why do we do it?  Because time-starved Mrs Smith cannot get there ANY OTHER TIME - or because Messrs Tesco, Argos etc need yet more growth?  And isn't that self-defeating, eventually? 

WHY haven't you got enough time? 
That's the real question -
NOT "Why can't all the shops be open"

Shops are open quite long enough (including 24hrs) the rest of the week, there is no way we NEED to be out there on Sundays, 'choice' that ever cited, over-blown mend-all wheeled out by politicians, critics and pundits alike has really nothing to do with it, and someone has to say it, so it might as well be me - just look what we DO with our blindfold of so-called CHOICE . . . . . we choose to go to ASDA on a Sunday?  Really?

"We Can Help?"

Absolutely Bombarded as we were across Christmas TV with PC World adverts (be VERY aware of any advert that includes "care-free whistling" in its sound-track) - I couldn't help but notice this company's tag-line: "WE CAN HELP"   

Weird isn't it?   I mean - OK, maybe a shop that sells medical stuff, or a service for some NEED - but what exactly could PC World help with?  Opening your wallet? Helping you fill-in some unnecessary 'extended warranty' paperwork?   Just what can PC World help with - other than suggesting something that sells something?

Supermarkets - Panorama and Me

Nice to see the BBC's  Panorama checking-out Supermarkets on 6th December.  It made we wish I'd verbalised more of the thoughts ..... no, the feelings walking around Tescos << this post >> gave rise to. 

I was aware of the product hiding, the false deals, and prices that seemed high - despite their proclamation of being lower (through some 'message' somewhere - "Price Drop"  or "Lower" or "Deal" or whatever).

Yet more, I was aware of some deeper manipulation going on - and it's different in each shop, within the 'big four'. 

Marketing - (as I supposed we still have to call it) has got so seedy, so tricky, so damned misleading these days - just view any commercial TV station for a while; but should we have to put up with it when it concerns food - for god's sake?

Two for the price of .. what IS the price of ONE?

Reference my earlier post about TESCOS, I was fortunate enough to visit their Tower Park (Poole, Dorset) site the other evening.  Just to put this into context - I have not visited a Tesco, Sainsbury, Morrisson or ASDA outlet for food, for some YEARS, but . . . . well, we wanted some cheap DVDs (excellent) and it was late (superb), weather was awful so I wanted to park close (fantastic) and, and, and .....

Astonished.  That's all I can say.  JUST LOOK AT THE PRICES!!!  Unbelievable.  Shelves proudly stating what a new offer was, priced at twice what it was worth, the stupid buggers STILL playing the buy-one-get forty-eight more etc, or two-for-the-price etc etc games.  Any half sensible shopper immediately thinks "but I only want ONE - what's the REAL price?  Why are you pushing all this wastage?"

Little shelf labels "cheaper"   than what?   Mid-point three besuited chaps waft down the central isle with clipboards, we all move aside before thinking "hey!  YOU move!  If it wasn't for me"  etc etc.  Too late!  They'd gone to help a very, very little bit of extra, no doubt.

Not a nice experience, the shelves look tired, the signage looks 70's and the signage misleads.  The cashiers were super, though.   Thanks.